You'd Make a Hell of a Pirate
by turningpaige
Summary: Captain Swan AU with Emma as the Dread Pirate Roberts CS Secret Survivor Present for swanfeels on Tumblr
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Happy CS Secret Survivor Pressie day! A few things: this is obviously a CS AU and it is heavily influenced by 'The Princess Bride'. Killian still has his left hand (for reasons), he is obviously born a few hundred years later (and in a different kingdom) than in canon. Therefore he never meets Milah. Also I didn't have any one to edit this so I apologize for any typos, misspellings, etc. **

**I claim no ownership of neither the wonderful characters, worlds, etc. from OUAT nor from 'The Princess Bride'. **

**I hope you like it, Vana! **

Killian stood with his knees bent, his right arm extended behind him and jabbed his sword in Roberts's direction. Roberts deflected the blow easily and moved out of the way when Killian sliced near her head. Killian circled turning his back to the cliff's edge as he locked his icy eyes with Roberts's emerald ones. He lunged forward again. Testing the woman in black. The female captain parried again and sliced his blade through the air next to Killian's right cheek. The two regarded each other for a few seconds before a grin spread onto Killian's face. Finally after 20 years, someone to challenge him. The two shuffled back and forth across the dusty ground as their blades clashed. Killian spun quickly, slicing his sword through the air, but Roberts ducked and avoided the blade. As the two fought a grin spread across Roberts face.

"You are using Bonetti's defense against me, ah?"

"I thought it fitting considering the rocky terrain," Roberts snarked back at him as Killian backed her onto a boulder.

"Naturally, you must expect me to attack with capo ferro," Killian said as he followed the captain up the uneven rock.

"Naturally but I find that Tibault cancels out capo ferro, don't you" Roberts replied with a teasing grin as she deftly blocked Killian's attacks. She jumped back off the edge of the boulder to avoid a strike to the chest.

"Unless the enemy has studied his Agrippa," Killian answered before jumping off the rock and flipping over the woman in black. He landed, sword at the ready in front of the female captain, "which I have," he finished with a smirk.

The two brought their swords again and shuffled back towards the edge of the cliff. A wide grin on Killian's face as he met Roberts blows.

"You are wonderful!" exclaimed Killian as he was pushed down a slippery bit of sand.

"Thank you, I've worked hard to become so," Roberts replied as she took the offence.

"I admit it you are better than I am." Killian said with a grin.

"Then why are you smiling?" the captain inquired.

"Because I know something you don't know," Killian responded as he was backed against the edge of the cliff

"And what is that?" the woman in black asked.

"I am not left-handed." Killian spun his blade and switched it to his right hand before attacking the other pirate captain. Pushing her back, away from the cliff's edge. She hopped up onto a crumbled step and struggled to block Killian's attacks with his stronger right hand. She fell against a step as Killian jabbed her sword at her. Once. Twice. Three times before she was up on her feet and climbing the stairs again. She swiped at Killian's head, but he ducked.

"You are amazing," she said as the two reached the landing of the stairs.

"I ought to be after twenty years," Killian replied as he pushed her up against the broken stone wall.

"There's something I ought to tell you," Roberts groaned as Killian trapped her arm against the stones.

"Tell me," Killian said as rocks fell away behind the captain's back.

"I'm not left-handed either," she said as she used her right arm to push the captain off of her. She threw her blade into the air and caught it deftly in her right hand. Within seconds she disarmed Killian and his sword was thrown off of the landing. Killian looked back at her eyes wide. She advanced toward him yet only gestured towards his sword. He jumped off the stairs and swung from a moss covered rod embedded in an archway landing clumsily and staggering to pick up his weapon.

Roberts tilted her head to the side and her mouth twisted into a small smile. She threw her sword down in front of the opposing captain who looked up at her mouth open in confusion. She too jumped from the steps swinging around the rod in rod in the archway and flipping in the air as she released it. She landed smoothly right next to her sword. Which she picked up as she tucked her left arm behind her back.

"Who are you?" Killian asked stunned.

"No one of consequence," the woman smiled.

"I must know," Killian said with a small shake of his head.

"Get used to disappointment," Roberts returned simply.

Killian shrugged before moving forward to attack. They fought again, this time with Roberts left arm behind her back until Killian turned his back to her and sliced his blade behind him then down between his legs in an attempt to surprise Roberts. Roberts blocked it easily. Killian felt a whoosh of air as the captain swiped at his heels, but he jumped out of the sword's path. He ran up a small crumbled stair and turned to wait for his opponent. She moved forward to attack, moving over the uneven ground as if it were smooth, polished stone. A few attacks later and she had disarmed Killian yet again. He pushed himself over a rock and caught his sword in his hand before it hit the ground. He then took the offence as the female pirate again tucked her left hand behind her back. The two met each other blow for blow until out of desperation Killian swiped the air around her face, giving Roberts the opportunity she needed to nick his ear and disarm him for a final time. She circled him, hand on her hip sword extended towards him.

"Well done lass, you bested me, I can count the number of people who've done that on one hand," he breathed, "Kill me then."

"I would sooner destroy a stained glass window as an artist such as yourself, however since I can't have you following me either," she clubbed him over the head with the hilt of her sword. He grunted and fell forward onto the sandy ground. "

"Killian," Emma sighed, "What are you doing?"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Finally. Sorry this is kind of late. I've been super busy with college. I apologize for any grammatical/spelling errors, I didn't use a beta. **

**As usual I don't own any of these wonderful worlds or the character in them. **

**Update: revised 12/14/14: A chunk of this story got deleted from going through several drafts before I posted this, I've re-wrote that section and changed a few other details so that the third part of the story makes sense. Part 3 will be up a little later tonight/early tomorrow morning depending on your time zone. **

Killian jerked awake, his whole body ached. He was filled with a pang of remorse as the memories of the fight came flooding back to him. As he realized his defeat he was struck by an overwhelming feeling of failure. He had let her down, again. He had failed to protect her years ago when the Evil Queen had attacked the castle, when she needed him most, and now he had failed her again with his inability to avenge her death.

He stood up, shaking his head, pushing the guilt from his mind, he needed to focus. He had to find the woman in black. He stretched his sore muscles as his eyes searched the area for his blade. He saw no trace of it, yet as he scanned the rocky terrain, his eyes fell across a trail of small, dainty footprints that led off, away from the cliff face.

Something about her face haunted him. Her brilliant green eyes had pierced his heart. They were just like _her's._ He remembered moonlit nights on the beach near her parent's castle as she taught him how to fence. He recalled how her eyes had narrowed at him as they dueled, the way a grin spread across her face after he had complimented her form, their easy banter. God, it was so obvious now, she was the one who had taught him to begin a fight with his left hand after all.

Maybe avenging Emma's death wouldn't be necessary after all. He ran off in the direction of the footprints.

Emma panted as she stopped to catch her breath on the edge of the ravine. How could he be here? How had he found her? As much as she feared for him, she couldn't deny the happiness that rose within her. Something she hadn't felt in too long. Her stomach had clenched at the resolve in his eyes as he had challenged her to a duel to avenge his love. She hadn't truly realized it was him, until he had begun the fight with his left hand. A trick that her father had taught her, and one that she had shared with Killian during one of their moonlight spars.

"So we meet again, lass," Emma froze. She had been lost in thought, had stopped for too long. She hadn't anticipated him catching up to her. As she turned to face him, she noted the change in his demeanor.

He knew.

She had been foolish to think that he wouldn't recognize her.

"So it would seem, back for another round, Captain," she grinned cheekily at him. But he saw it now, the way her smile didn't quite reach her eyes. The effort it took for her to keep up her façade, the strength drained from her as she held up her walls.

He stepped towards her and she reached for her sword. But, before she could draw it, he closed the distance between them, his hand covering hers on the sword hilt, preventing her from drawing her weapon. Emma felt familiar sparks as his skin brushed hers.

"I'm pretty good at knowing when someone is lying to me," he said. "Just who are you, lass?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" she breathed. She avoided his gaze desperately searching for something, anything to look at other than his brilliant blue eyes. Until he touched her face, his hand guiding her chin up, forcing her to lift her eyes to meet his.

"Perhaps I would," he replied softly.

She held his gaze carefully. He raised his hands and cautiously reached behind her head and pulled the ties of her mask free. Her golden hair tumbling over her shoulders as he pulled the thin black material away.

"Emma," he whispered, his voice soft, he brushed his hand across her cheek, softly, as if she were made of glass and might shatter. He shook his head, willing this not to be a dream. As happy as he was to see her anger pooled in his stomach as he thought of all the time they had lost. His eyes grew dark and he found his voice. "Why would you do this? Why would you let me believe that you were dead?"

"I didn't have a choice! Regina took everything from me, she killed everyone I loved! I had to disappear. I had to find a way to learn to control my magic to make her pay."

"She didn't take everyone who loved you, Emma," he said, his voice softening slightly.

"She may as well have," Emma replied as her tone softened to match his. "I knew you'd come after me. I couldn't live knowing that you would be in danger because of me. You were safer without me," she ended in a whisper.

"You wanted me to believe that you were dead," he said incredulously. "Emma do you have any idea what it did to me when I heard that you were killed. When I found out it was like the light left my life. I swore to avenge your death only to final track down the person I believed to have taken your life and to find you alive and well. Did you even care what it would do to me?"

"Of course I cared," Emma assured him moving forward and reaching for him. She found his hand and pulled him towards her. "I disappeared because I cared about you, I knew you would never be safe if Regina was after me. After Regina burnt the castle, after my parents," she trailed off, Killian's face softened "I stowed away on a ship that was docked nearby. It turned out to be the Revenge. They found me a few days after we set sail, and when they found me I knew that they would likely kill me. The Dread Pirate Roberts never takes prisoners."

"Then how did you survive?"

"I said 'please, please I need to live' he asked me why and I told him that I had to find someone to help me learn to control my magic so that I could go after Regina. He was intrigued that I had magic and I think he liked the idea of someone finally getting revenge on Regina, he let me live. His crew spread the word that they had killed me. I'm sorry that I left, but I did believe that I was doing the best thing for you."

"I told you once that I would follow you to the end of the world, and I meant it."

"Killian, I'm not the same person that I was. You don't know me anymore, I'm nothing but a pirate."

"Emma, I know you better than you know yourself," he said, moving back into her space. "It doesn't matter to me if you're a princess or a pirate. I'm tired of living in the past. I'm tired of wasting away, chasing revenge."

"Killian," she whispered "It's not that easy for me, I have to find her to make her pay for what she's done. You can't come with me it's too dangerous. Please, I can't lose you too."

"Swan," he breathed. "I had a lot of time to think on my ship, a lot of drunken nights, wishing that we'd never met, that you'd never broken my heart. I wondered what my life would have been had we never met. Yet every time I thought about it, I came to the same conclusion. I'd pick you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd pick you." He searched her eyes, for some indication, any indication that his feelings were reciprocated. And then her eyes twinkled.

"Good," she whispered.

Blackbeard lined his boots up with the footprints on the dusty ground. "There was," he said shuffling his feet, as if dueling an invisible foe, "a mighty duel. It ranged all over," he gestured around the ruins. "They were both masters."  
"Who won? How did it end?" His first mate enquired.  
"The winner," he pointed towards a trail of footprints, "went that way, towards Guilder. They were followed, presumably by the loser."

"Captain, could this be a trap? Rumplestiltskin has been seen in Guilder."  
"It matters not, the lass stole what was rightfully mine. I will have my revenge, whatever the cost," he growled, dark eyes fixed on the trail.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm so glad I finally have this up, and I'm sorry that it's taken so long! If you follow me on Tumblr you may have seen my ranting post after I found out that I had accidentally deleted a ton of backstory by going through several drafts, so I've plugged it back in to Part 2 and changed a few details for continuity. In case you don't want to go back and re-read all of Part 2, I've included a summary of the missing backstory below. **

**I hope you enjoy!**

**As always, I take no credit for either **_**The Princess Bride**_** or **_**Once Upon a Time. **_

_After her curse failed, the Evil Queen struck the Charming's castle with revenge, burning it to the ground. Emma escaped the fire and stowed away on a ship in port. Unfortunately for her she chose the pirate ship Revenge as her getaway. She was discovered by the Dread Pirate Roberts, knowing that she would likely be killed, she simply said please. She told the pirate that she had to live to avenge her parents. The Dread Pirate Roberts had his own grudge against the Evil Queen and agreed to help her. His crew spread the word whenever they docked that he had killed the Princess. Word eventually got to her childhood friend Killian. Emma had met Killian after sneaking out of the castle one night for a walk along the beach. Killian lived in the village nearby and he used to sit on the beach late and night and wait for the day that he would see the mast of his brother's ship come back into port like he had promised years ago. Killian vowed revenge on the pirate who he believed had taken Emma's life. Little did he know, he was chasing after his long lost love all along. _

Killian's eyes drifted over the cliffs onto the horizon and was shocked by what he saw there.

"That's Blackbeard's ship! What is he doing here?"

"He followed me," Killian's eyes connected with hers in question. "I stole his dagger," Emma shrugged pulling it from her boot, "Rumpelstiltskin wanted a trade. What's the big deal? It's just a knife?"

"I've heard of this, love. It's the source of the Dark One's powers."

"It's not just a dagger, love. Look closer," as Emma's gaze fell upon it the blade grew longer, its edges twisted and curved forming themselves into a wave-like pattern, the hilt grew more ornate, and elegant black letters spread over the surface of the blade, spelling out a name.

"Rumpelstiltskin?" Emma read.

"Yes dearie," a cheery, high pitched voice answered. Emma and Killian spun around.

"Rumpelstiltskin?" she repeated. The Dark One rolled his eyes.

"Yes, I do believe we've established that, now," he said taking a step towards the pair. "I believe you have something that rightfully belongs to me."

"I have the dagger now, what's to stop me from

"Because dearie, you are the product of _Twoo Love_ and as such you wield the strongest white magic, you could do no such thing. You are just too good."

"You don't know what I'm capable of."

"Shall we test that theory," Rumple beamed. He vanished from before Emma's eyes and reappeared in front of Killian, plunging his hand into his chest. He yanked it out and phased from in front of Killian before Emma could grab him. In his hand gleamed Killian's brilliant, bright red heart Emma's stomach sunk and she drew in a sharp breath.

"No!" Emma shrieked. "No you can't do this!"

"Oh I think you'll find that I can dearie." His other hand slid out from behind his back to reveal the dagger. It's wavy, jagged edges gleamed menacingly in the moonlight."

"How?" Emma asked looking down at her now empty hand.

"Never mind that dearie. I think you have a far more pressing concern at the moment," he glanced over Emma's shoulder to Killian's motionless body. She turned to follow his gaze and caught a motion out of the corner of her eye, as Rumple conjured a dark, glittering dust that circled the bright heart in his hand, before converging on it, draining its color. Emma blinked and Rumple was behind Killian, he pushed the heart back into his chest from behind and Killian crumpled to the ground.

Emma dropped the fake dagger and crumpled to the ground at Killian's side. She reached out, her hand trembling as she stroked the side of his face.

"What have you done?" Emma demanded.

"Oh nothing dearie, just a little curse," he grinned, "dark fairy dust, it will stop his heart within minutes."

Emma gazed at the dagger in his hand and a thought occurred to her, a desperate hope stirred in her mind.

"Reverse it," she demanded her voice growing icy. Rumpelstiltskin laughed.

"Why ever would I want to do that? You no longer have anything to offer me."

"I'll do anything." Emma pleaded. Rumpelstiltskin giggled and her heart froze in her chest.

"Ah I do love it when they say that. But dearie, even the Dark One has no control over life and death. I'm afraid this is practically irreversible, you just cost your boyfriend his life."

Emma turned back to Killian's motionless form. "Please Killian, I can't lose you too." Her eyes blurred with tears. "I can't lose you again," she whispered as she pressed her lips to his. A thousand emotions swirled through her body. Her chest grew tight with the intensity of it. Fear, sadness, anger, and then love, so much love. Just as it began to consume her Killian's lips moved against hers and a great light sprung from the place where their lips touched and expanded around them with a shocking force that knocked the Dark One to the ground and caused him to drop the dagger.

"No," he growled, stumbling to his feet, searching the ground for the dagger.

"But how?" Emma whispered. Suddenly she felt Killian squeeze her arm. "Killian!" She turned back to him. "Killian thank God," she threw herself onto his chest, hugging him tightly.

"Emma," he gasped, "Dagger." Emma whirled around and spotted the dagger, not far from where Rumple stood. Rumple followed her eyes and spotted it. Emma reached out desperately and to her surprise it flew into her hand.

"That's not possible," Rumpelstiltskin growled, "You can't control your powers." Emma looked down to where Killian had a hold of her arm and then back at Killian.

"I guess I'm learning," Emma replied, helping Killian up.

Rumple looked up, ready to move towards Emma, but she brandished the dagger at him and he stopped moving forward.

"Now love," a deep, menacing voice came from behind her, "why don't you give back what's rightfully mine." Blackbeard appeared over a ridge, followed by a few members of his crew.

"Why don't you come and take it?" Emma replied, drawing her sword. She felt Killian beside her do the same thing.

As Blackbeard and his crew attacked Emma turned to Rumpelstiltskin, "Help!" she demanded and Rumple was forced into action. With a flick of his hand the crew was immobilized. Emma turned towards Killian, "Well that was easy." He looked at her incredulously. Emma turned to Rumple.

"You'll keep them frozen until we've gone, then you will take them and their ship and leave them somewhere where they can't hurt anyone."

To their surprise, Rumple only nodded. "You may have won this time dearie, but mark my words, I will find a way to get that dagger back and when I do, you will rue the day that you crossed me."

"I guess I'll just have to make sure that you don't get it back then," Emma replied. With that Emma set off towards the fire swamp and Killian leaned close to her and whispered in her ear.

"Love, you wouldn't care to let me in on the plan would you." Emma chuckled.

"Bury the dagger in the dagger in the fire swamp after ordering the Dark One to do no more harm, get back to the Enchanted Forest, and that's as far as I've gotten."

"Aren't you overlooking one tiny detail, or rather three, the three dangers of the fire swamp. We'll never survive."

"Nonsense, you're just saying that because no one ever has. Besides," Emma said, sliding her hand up to tangle with the lapel of his coat, "I've saved your life once already today, I think I could do it again." Killian grinned.

And the two walked together towards the Fire Swamp, the threats behind them, they knew would catch up eventually, but they would face them together.

**A/N: Sorry if that ending was terribly cheesy, but I'm quite happy with it for the moment. Please review if you feel so inclined. Thank you, those of you who favorite/followed this story. **


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